LAPPE’s Bee Supply had this list … I decided to add a few.
“You get phone calls from the local post office asking you to please hurry in to pick up your bees, and you don’t see what the big deal is about.
You check out all of the labels and prices of the honey at every grocery store you go into.
You come home from working on the bees and your kids hold their noses around you, complaining about that awful smokey smell.
There is propolis stuck to everything – your door handle on the truck, your steering wheel, your cell phone….
You don’t mind driving home with bees flying around everywhere inside your vehicle after working on the bees.
You go through the checkout at the grocery store with a cart load of sugar, and you’re used to the strange looks the other shoppers give you (do what I do, tell them it’s for moonshine).
When you are standing at a family picnic talking to some relatives, you are the only person who doesn’t duck and run when a bee starts buzzing around.
You don’t mow the lawn during the day because the bees are working the dandelions.
You pull off the road just to see if there are any bees working the wildflowers in the ditches.
Your once white bee suit is no longer white.
Your child takes a drone to school for show and tell and wonders why the teacher got so upset.”
The hives were moved to the deck so you could visit more often and smell the evening fanning.
You update your dating profile, with a picture of a hive in the pickup. “Looking for Honey.”
Your date asks if you prefer dogs or cats and you respond– “I prefer my hives.”
Your partner comments that your Erotica is misplaced in the Honey Extractor.
While driving you evaluate thistle invested properties as prime real estate.
Idle conversation topics with friends are built around the various breeds you would like to try on.
Divorce tensions begin when you forget to clean up after extracting and the bees find their way into the kitchen.
You have been described as having a mellifluous tongue.
You use the local bee supply store as a hopeful meeting place for fellow singles.
You buy a snooping camera (Flir One) costing 369.00 to check if your hive is warm enough.
You have a permanent bucket of swarm collecting tools in the trunk of your car.
You have a bumper sticker saying. “I brake for bee swarms.”
Your PC screen saver features pictures or episodes of Minuscule featuring bees (give link)
Your dating plan is to wait and hit on someone at the county fair bee exhibit.
You use your hive tool scraper for personal hygiene!
Beekeepers are usually ahead of the curve. With the Corona virus people are wearing masks. We wear veils all the time.
You purchase things at the Home Depot just to get another nice honey bucket.
You consider buying Arizona property for your hives, not as a snowbird alternative.
Africanized bees are just another DNA crossing source for your less feisty Italians.
The property is landscaped for nectar and pollen flow.
Your children never forgave you for naming them Carnolian, Beedoacia and Cardi-bee.
Your passenger seat is more often filled with a hive or swarm box than a human mate!
If on that date you begin your conversation as being an expert on what happens to drones when they have SEX.
Worse yet you compliment her on her waspish figure.
You view your potential mate as how well he or she can motivate the extractor handle!
You buy your wife YOUR favorite perfume, Lemon Grass Oil.
Divorce, when mentioned to your lawyer is referred to as a needed SPLIT.
You consider BEE books deep thrill reading.
Your car has been a stranger to your garage for years. Hive boxes brook no competition.
The naming of hives is taken very seriously. My three hives were named Republic, Kingdom, and Rogue.
The Computer has a pollen and nectar plant base by month.
Your friendly bank on-line back statement/chart of expenses show that apiary purchases have now exceeded the food purchases.
You keep both extractors in the living room and use them as conversation pieces.
You ask your daughters to embalm you in honey when you finally pass on.
Or use that big long box to bury you in.
Holiday excursions are to visit exotic honey producing regions like New Zealand or the remotest desert in Chile.
JOKE: What do unionized bees ask for? More honey and shorter working flowers.