This is my tale of a long delayed surgery and the after effects.

In late June I got some great news! My *huernias* are finally going to be repaired. Through incompetency or whatever a four year old belly button hernia had become a real attention getter. Wear a truss said one doctor. Perhaps the gentile suggestion to keep the new penis from engorging further. Sadly this created a new and lower inguinal hernia. This too was questioned by my doctor two months ago when it was small. A month later, he finally admitted that yes, it was and that he would refer me to another surgeon.

You see the first surgeon looked at the cost and risks of the operation to HIM and decided that this patient should never have walked through his hallowed door. Today I visited another and she explained all the risks and benefits and agreed that the lower one was the more dangerous one, but that BOTH should be repaired.

Always pro-active I asked her what days were off days for surgery thinking of FRIDAY and the rush for surgeons to get to their golf game. You see, my ex-wife was a surgical nurse and had encumbered me with Pitocin drip horror stories of Friday’s in the O.B. room.

Mondays I questioned, just because people might be resentful of having to get back to work. She replied that most of her op work schedule was for Tuesday and Thursday. Works for me! How about next Tuesday?, ask I. OKAY, July 7^th it was!

She even pee-empted me on my next question – WHEN in the day? You see, I know that 8-9 AM is the most productive time of the day. She has me coming in at 6:AM.

I just love to be the first to bloody up the damn operating room. So wish me well. The preliminary warnings included that the first few days will be the worst and I can’t even drive for five days. “Stock up on food and get some Midol for the pain.” That is my kind of doctor!  Just kidding about the Midol!  Best of all she promises to Stapelia everything up.

Freshlyground – Don’t Leave Me“Don’t Leaf Me’  I could not help myself. I had just ordered some samples of Red Rooisbos and Honey bush tea and green Rooisbos still awaits a decision.  So while I sip those sweet teas I will briefly slip ‘Under those African Skies.’   …

“Joseph’s face was as black as the night”
And the pale yellow moon shone in his eyes
His path was marked
By the stars in the Southern Hemisphere
And he walked the length of his days
Under African skies.”

Buying Rooisbos tea and using fresh ginger are some things you just have to figure out and make judgment calls on. The doctors do not always have the answers and if you listen to your body you usually can tell if you’re on the right track. It would be the same for buying a recliner to heal in.

“A smile can prompt a smile, extend into a laugh, and bring happiness to an entire room.”
The follow up visit to the surgeon suggests that my recovery will be a bit longer than this optimist had hoped for. That said, my two hernias met their match on the cutting board.

The surgeries went well and i would caution people who “Google” for side effects, problems with any kind of medical procedure. Like newspapers, people report the ‘bad’ experience but rarely the positive.

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In my case the nurses, anesthesiologist and surgeon were GREAT and I could cry for the relief and corrections made to my body. KUDOS to all involved!! Mind you, I exclude that self important meshuggener first surgeon ‘who wouldn’t touch that single belly button hernia .. risk factors,mentioned.’ It continued to grow and the second surgeon had no such problems and didn’t even use mesh. The Inguinal needed the mesh. So give those negative “side effect” pages a wide birth and be open to the BEST outcome! Now to rest and heal. I will have a follow-up with the surgeon next week A good ending after a four year wait!

BTW the close mowing job was expected. Less so the brain numbing effect of the Oxycodron. I had counted on pain but was surprised by the width and scope of it. Like the captured salmon, one steps firmly on the body before putting it out of its misery. My shoulders, thighs and even my calves feel like they had been painfully manacled. I guess they rope you down to the operating table.

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I was also able to trade for a good used recliner to better heal in. While on Craig’s list I also found an outdoor one  that I could plop myself into and sunbath the incisions while we still have sun. Promises to be a long process of healing. The follow up visit to the surgeon on Thursday would prove my premonition to be correct. Please read the funny incident below.

Letter to a friend. …. Regarding healing from  surgery.
“Went shopping and got a prescription refill. Received some Interesting help at Rite Aid. I have to bandage and care for these two incisions and sterile gauze bandages are pretty rough and expensive.
The surgeon recommended I buy maxi pads instead. Absorbent and soft. PERFECT! Best of all they are cheaper. Now these come in all sizes and absorbancy standards so I asked the store manager who was stocking to assist.

She and I found a ‘slim’ thin one (as it is not draining badly) that had no ‘scent or odor reducing chemicals in it. I then mentioned that I could not find an ice pak in such a shape. Be it panties or jockey shorts this could be cinched up to the groin. She HAD the item … it simply was stocked in a different isle. WOOPIE … am I going to be cool or what?

In the Oxycodron refill, I explained to the pharmacist my initial negative reaction to ADVIL and the pharmacist went to the ‘over the counter’ isle and suggested I try Aleve instead. Not like Tylenol, Advil or Aspirin this Naproxen product might work. Neither of the doctors had suggested this as an alternative. I give this drug store a big thumbs up!!!

I am sure that there are side effects to this alternative as well and since high blood pressure is not an issue, I can only see low platelet clotting to be a concern. Same for my one baby aspirin a day. As it  turned out he Advil would work. So did the cold pak.

The opiate Oxycodron  is now reduced to less than half the dosage. Some things one just has to work out oneself. It also depends upon ones individual pain threshold level. Mine is quite high.

Finding relief in the feminine products isle certainly made me smile. Next it will be MIDOL. Just kidding. Interesting though. Depending upon the formalization ‘Midol’ can be Acetaminophen, Ibufrofen, or Naproxen. So much to be said for “reading the label.”

I was so taken by that service, I wrote the company a compliment. Something customers rarely do, although they are ever quick to gripe and make complaints.
“It made my day” and I must have brought a smile to the ladies as well.
Hats off to all the kindness out there! As in poetry, sometimes a few measured words can frame so much more. Creating the time to assist someone in need is the same.

A fairy tale would have this ending with everything bright and chipper. Alas, life ain’t always so. The ‘Repairs’ and the incisions are fine and so was the surgery. My body, however has some weakened organs and the stress led to a massive fluid buildup in the upper abdomen. Both the Hospital Radiology dept. and doctor Jahns opted for ‘immediate’ drainage rather than the use of diuretics. 

So tomorrow I am going to be tapped like a Sugar Maple and drained. 🙂 Having a few liters being taken out might need some some replacement input** before I leave. Rather than the chemical brew they use I would much rather have a Beet smoothie or some other organic food that (surprisingly) might have been offered by a local Organic food grower who has a sales booth one day a week. Sadly, they do not serve 'prepared foods' or drinks but it is a great idea.

Followup: While there is always hope and light, we sometimes stumble into darkness and somehow seem to be more willing to step into that zone rather than the other.

After having 20 lbs.of fluid drawn out of my belly (4.5 liters) I feel like I can move again. Now its diuretic tablets and perhaps a training bra, should the side effects happen. 🙂 Flat stomach comes with a price – breast growth. Now I am certain that the ‘trickster deity is female. No Jehovah, but perhaps an angry Gaiavanna.

Uptake being … I am doing the best I can with the time allotted me and tests on the fluid may find something else, but in this treatment and 6 hours of  ** albumin uptake, I remained upbeat and will give those nurses in Radiology and Short Stay, one heck of a positive feedback.  CHEERS to nurses KENT and KATHY!  Way to go Olympic Memorial Hospital.

In the meantime I drink my herbal teas including Rooisbos which tastes like barnyard sweepings, but flavored with my Chocolate Mint its great. Ginger, citrus flavorings work as well, be they Cranagranate, Lemon grass or Blueberry.

(C) Herb Zorro Senft 2015